So you know your partner is being unfaithful, now what do you do? One way or another, you’ll have to confront your cheating partner, and here’s what you should do.
How to Confront a Cheating Partner
There’s nothing more exciting sometimes than being in love. The whole world seems to glow. At least, that’s true until you find out that your partner has been unfaithful.
Discovering a cheating partner can be a huge blow. It can be heartbreaking. No matter what comes after, part of your healing process is going to involve dealing with that infidelity.
Believe it or not, confronting your unfaithful partner is crucial to moving forward. Confronting doesn’t have to mean an argument. It should never result in violence. What it does mean is getting the truth from your partner and learning the reasons why he or she cheated.
The Most Common Signs Your Partner is a Cheater
There are many reasons someone might cheat, just as there are many different types of infidelity. It may make a difference if your partner had a one night stand with another person versus if they had a six-month relationship with someone else. Your healing process might depend on the type and the reason for the affair.
The most important thing to realize is as painful as this discovery is, you’re not alone. About 50% of married people cheat. That figure is almost equal for men and women. This fact doesn’t make it hurt less, but you might find solace in knowing you’re not the only victim of cheating out there in the world.
What To Do Now
Once you’ve determined you have a cheating partnership and have made the decision to confront your partner about his or her unfaithful behaviors, there are three things to keep in mind:
- Collect the evidence.
- Plan on where and when you will confront your partner.
- Try to stay calm.
Let’s take a closer look at each one.
Get Evidence Before Confronting Them
Evidence turns your suspicions into facts. Those facts will be harder for your partner to deny. You might have noticed money being spent in an unexpected way. Maybe your partner is suddenly spending a lot more time at the gym, but ignoring you. Gather all of this evidence before you go and accuse them.
How do you want to confront your partner? You might feel it’s best to talk privately, or maybe you feel the conversation will be more fruitful over dinner. Planning ahead has the added benefit of keeping you from dropping the bomb of your confrontation at a random moment.
Choose a time when you and your partner are more likely to be calm and honest with one another
Decide what you hope the outcome will be. Are you simply seeking the truth? Do you plan to leave or stay with your partner if he or she admits to cheating? It is possible to work it out. In fact, 30–80% of couples stay together despite past infidelity.
Staying calm when facing a cheating partner is crucial. Yes, you are going to have strong emotions trying to take over. You might cry or get choked up.
Taking a few deep breaths while your partner answers your confrontation can help keep you calm. Just make sure that you’re communicating clearly, and not simply insulting your partner as much as it might help your broken heart.
Also published on Medium.